Today we learned that a family who was adopting a 4 year old girl, had the same court date as us and lived near us lost their referral. An Aunt came and claimed the precious girl. They already had the same experience with a boy referral earlier this year. We met this family a couple of weeks ago when they joined us for dinner. They were so excited about their upcoming travel, but understandably apprehensive that another loss could occur.
Those of us adopting, know in our heart that it is usually best if a child can stay with their family and in their country but that doesn't make the loss any easier when it happens. My heart breaks for this family. I've had two miscarriages and have experienced loss and grief. Because the adoption process is so long and their court date was within two weeks, this family's loss would be more like carrying a child to term and then losing the child during delivery. Please pray with us for their great loss.
It is so hard to understand what is happening when things don't go the way we intended for them to go. I know I felt things were hopeless and futile for our adoption earlier this year. But when we cry out to the Lord in our pain, He hears our voice. He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). His plan is always perfect and He is in control. "Surely just as I have intended it so it has happened and just as I have planned so it will stand (Isaiah 14:24). In John 13:7 He said, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." Meanwhile He keeps our lamp burning and turns our darkness into light (Psalm 18:28). His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light for our path (Psalm 119:105). He calls us to live by faith and not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). He calls us to surrender our will, lay it on the altar and listen for that small voice behind us that says "This is the way, walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21) These are all verses in which I found comfort during my own time of darkness.
When we started our adoption, we heard a sermon about the call of adoption. The speaker said some people who are called will have a road of ease and some a road of suffering. He pointed out all the great people of faith who answered God's call as noted in Hebrews 11; they answered God's call but still encountered much suffering along the way.
Just because we encounter trials does not mean that we are outside the will of God and His plan for our lives. We live in a fallen world with much pain. In her book "Kisses from Katie," Katie says being a Christ follower means being acquainted with sorrow. We must know sorrow to be able to fully appreciate joy. Joy cost pain but the pain is worth it. After all, the murder had to take place before the resurrection." Katie, who experienced the loss of an adopted child, also said "This life is beautiful and terrible and simple and difficult, and He is using it for His glory."
Along the same lines, a principle from my BSF teaching leader the other day was "When we rely on the Holy Spirit, we have a new spiritual perspective that helps us be obedient to God's call, to have perseverance that gets us through the tough times and learn from our failures and have peace that comes as we trust God with every result."
Please keep our two girls and their birth family in your prayers as the birth family court date comes up in two days. Pray that God's will be done for our lives and theirs.
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